Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
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