we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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