I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
