I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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