I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
