Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
