the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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