Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
