So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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