Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
