I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
