you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize