totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
