I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
im holly from the hills drunk
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
