He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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