Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
