I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
