ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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