I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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