I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
