True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Let's get the cat blown out
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