My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
