i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
