so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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