high people should be assigned attendants
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
