sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
