you guys were way drunker than both of me
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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