I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
