HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
