Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
