She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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