I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
