I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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