Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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