You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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