Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
