omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
