"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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