So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
