I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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