so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
