yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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