Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
