i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
