I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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