sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
