She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
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