love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
