I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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