she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
