You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
