i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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