Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
