I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
