i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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