My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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