Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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