did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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