For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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