i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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