Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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